i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
