So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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