Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
now i know why i became what i already was.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize