try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
