We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
