Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
