They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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