I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
