you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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