You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
