I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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