It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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