I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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