Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize