where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
