maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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