Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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