Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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