I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
