i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
