I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
