we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
