Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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