All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
