It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
