I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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