Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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