if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
