I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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