dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
