he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
