Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
