She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
