Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
