Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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