He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
