I want to stick my p in your. b.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
