That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So much rum. So many feels.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
