At least make sure they are 18
Why
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
