so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
