mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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