Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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