i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
