I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
