i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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