Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I will pee on everything he values.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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