sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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