I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
