is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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