The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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