If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
