he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize