I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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