I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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