I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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