I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
