My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
