If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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