don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize