hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she looked like the before picture.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
