He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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